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Holding Space

Land Acknowledgment: We acknowledge that this beautiful land that we call our home was forcibly vacated of its original and rightful caretakers, the Iswa (Catawba) and Gadua (Cherokee) people who have cared for it for millennia and, through resilience and persistence, despite generations of state-supported acts of removal and genocide, continue to do so. 

Touched by an Angel

~ Maya Angelou

We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life. 

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls. 

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.

-by Holly Fink
In the spirit of Valentine’s day, it seems only fitting that the theme for this month’s newsletter is love. There are many pieces of Maya Angelou’s poem that resonate with me and relate to conversations I’ve had just within the new year. I keep coming back to the idea of daring to be brave, especially in moments where it might feel like there is a loss of love. I moved to Asheville in August of last year. A month after I moved here, my boyfriend and I broke up. Exiled from delight, I allowed myself to burrow in my loneliness. But it was only a loneliness from romantic love. My housemates embraced me fully and showed me the kindest love through friendship, shared meals, and emotional support. 

Last week I spent an afternoon with my friend Lou and our house guest Sarafina. Lou grieves the loss of his husband, and while we were all together he felt the ancient histories of pain. A profound love lead to a profound loss. That afternoon we spent together, Lou felt comfortable to share his pain and his love with us. In that moment, love meant being vulnerable and being open to vulnerability. Sarafina works as a death doula creating space for people to die with integrity and peace. Their passion for their work is palpable. Love in the form of caring for others in one of the most intimate ways. 

In the last few weeks, we’ve had many guests come and go. In early January we made a new friend, a former teacher turned hospice volunteer. He shared stories of his life, joined us for dinner, and assisted Erik with house projects. Sarafina was here for a few weeks, and will be back at the end of the month for a few more, continuing to share their knowledge and passion for death work and roller skating. We made a new friend in November, Brooks, who came back last week for a visit where we continued to get to know him, his humor, and affinity for vegan cheese. Brooks practices acupuncture and just passed his third and final board exam! And most recently our friend Kerianne visited. Kerianne was an AmeriCorps member with me. When we were here with our team in October 2021, Kerianne and I knew Holding Space was a special place. The desire for community is strong. This house is a space for love to be nurtured. Romantic, platonic, passionate, creative, love through teaching and learning from others. This Valentine’s day, I am grateful for the many different kinds of love I am fortunate enough to have in my life. Join us as we dare to be brave, and continue to seek meaningful connections and new loves.

The monthly potluck will take place on Wednesday, February 15, from 4-7pm. 
We hope to see you there!

Our Mission

Holding Space was created to improve the quality of life and death for those with a terminal illness and their caregivers by offering support to meet basic needs, connect with community and create meaning.

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